I had a
little conversation with a well-meaning Customer Service Representative from
Sprint the other day that went a little something like this.
ME: “I appreciate your offer of the Unlimited
plan, but I really don’t want to increase my monthly bill. I can’t afford the bill I have now. I am literally homeless and trying to get by
on a ridiculous joke of child support payments.”
Sprint
CSR: “I know that must be tough. I completely understand.”
ME: “Have you ever been homeless?”
Sprint
CSR: “Well no.”
ME: “Then you have no idea what I am talking
about and could not possible empathize with my situation.”
Sprint
CSR: “You’re completely right about
that.”
I wasn’t
trying to be nasty, and I said it in a calm and straightforward manner. But she hasn’t the foggiest clue and
shouldn’t have tried to placate me with platitudes. Unless she has wondered where she is going to
sleep on any given evening, she cannot fathom the angst that I have been
through over the past six weeks. Not
really knowing where I and two small children were going to land has been an emotionally
draining as well as a physically daunting task.
It is very much akin to when people say that looking for a job is a full
time job. Trying to keep a roof over
your head for even one more day when you don’t have one is just as exhausting.
I will give
that CSR from Sprint her props. She
recovered nicely from my blunt and potentially argumentative question (although
I was not looking for an argument), and went on to give me a $50 credit off of
my next bill – which was much needed and appreciated. I am not ashamed to accept help these days in
any form it arrives. And I have had
quite a bit of help over the past six weeks.
Friends have prayed for me, called to check up on me, and given me food,
gift cards and money to keep gas in my car – which has almost literally been
both my home and storage unit on wheels.
It has been a very humbling and eye-opening experience, especially since
I typically relish my self-sufficiency and independence.
This week was
the first time this year that I saw a glimmer of hope that we will be
okay. We moved into a temporary housing
facility last week. It’s a program
specifically for homeless women with children.
They have a multitude of resources and ways to assist us as I work to
get back on track from Square One. The
apartment we have is really nice – and
the boys have their own rooms, which is a luxury for sure. I even had to invest in a wire hanger so that
my little guy can’t lock himself in/other people out of his room. There are also lots of other kids to play
with in the building, which is the best bonus of all for the boys J
I almost wish we could stay permanently, even though I know the goal is
to work towards self-sufficiency, something I used to know quite well.
There are
other little steps we are taking towards our independence. I used a gift card from a friend and took my
boys out for “Pancake Tuesday” at Denny’s.
This was something I had not been able to do while we were sleeping in
churches and living on a seemingly borrowed existence. Every week, we would get a pancake dinner
somewhere as a way to pause during our weekly busy-ness and enjoy a few moments
together as a threesome. It was a
routine I began about a year ago, and the boys were thrilled to get that
opportunity once again.
Now, I will
say that I have enjoyed cooking my own dinners and washing the dishes (shock of
shocks). I tidy up around the apartment
each day, and put things away after using them.
I am attempting to do without all of the “necessities” that aren’t even
close to being necessary that clutter up our existence. I make my bed each morning and I still sort
of pinch myself that we have a stable place to stay. It’s surreal in a way I cannot easily
describe. When I used to take all of
these things for granted, as if they were my rights, instead of the privileges
that they are.
I have some
big appointments coming up this week: a meeting with the board to determine my
official goals and direction while I am in the program, meeting with a
professional to review and revamp my resume, and a career development class
that will occupy my Tuesday evenings for the next 10 weeks. I have been working the same types of jobs
for a while, and perhaps figuring out a new direction/career path may be the break
I need to get excited about working again.
Who knows which way the wind will blow?
I am both excited and scared about the possibilities at the same
time. I just have to stay positive and
take one day, one minute at a time.
Until the next
mile…
